Enough with the god damn barbecue

So "life as we know it" episode two was not as good as episode one. It had its moments but I have had it up to my eyeballs with the BBQ subplot. In fact, it is not even gripping enough to be considered a subplot. Also, what exactly does this Dad do? Last week Dino picked him up at work and he was exiting a large glass building in a suit, this week Dino picked him up at a restaurant supply store in a strip mall, he was wearing chinos. Also the portrayal of Seattle was not as good as last week. So I would like to take this time to comment on that...

An open letter to the showrunners of "life as we know it"

Dear Sirs,

Overall I have enjoyed the first two episodes of your show and your portrayal of Seattle has been the best on tv so far. However I feel that there is still some room for improvement. To this end I have made some notes for you to consider:

1. Your houses are excellent. They look just like the houses that my friends grew up in. However, they are very expensive houses so the notion that these kids wouldn't have their own cars is absurd. Much like LA, nobody walks in Seattle and even the poor kids have cars. For example, my friend Denise Stevens lived in a house just like Jonathan's. The expansive windows afforded her a perfect view of the firemen hosing down her Volkswagen fastback after it has mysteriously burst into flames while she was in the shower. She, incidentally, was also obsessed with the Sponge and when it was discontinued, stockpiled and made special trips to BC, much like elaine on Seinfeld.

2. Why is there a british girl? Now I am not saying that a british girl couldn't be in a seattle high school but you have given us no explanation. The only british girl I knew in high school was named Penny and spent all of her time talking about dual citizenship and how she didn't believe in birth control. To quote: "If I get pregnant, just come at me with the Hoover" - Nice.

3. There are too many hot girls. Seattle can be an ugly town and while your fat jokes are cleverly written, fat girls usually always have boyfriends in seattle. It is the least concerned with fat or looks of any kind of any town I know. In fact, back in my day, the challenge was to be the shittiest looking girl you could be, that made you hot.

4. Please take them to Dick's. I know you film in BC but seattle isn't so far away that it would kill you to do a few exteriors there. All kids go to Dick's Drive In, it is a seattle institution and you can't have a show about Seattle teenagers without it. I am 28 years old and I still drag my ass there every time I am back home. Plus it seems like a few orders of Dick's Deluxe and fries would fit right in to the "all sex talk, no action" format of your show.

5. One more house thing. The houses around the school are not seattle (in fact, if I had to guess I would say Surrey), try not to show them. The school exterior is a bit off too as it appears to be stucco, which is all BC. Seattle is all about brick. I liked your choice of woodrow wilson as the name, there are so many president schools in seattle, it actually took me a minute to figure out that it wasn't a real school. Incidentally, people in seattle often say that Steve Miller is from there, he actually moved there in the late 70s but he went to woodrow wilson high school, in wisconsin.

6. You need a few more hicks and asians. Seattle goes from urban to rural in about 15 minutes once you leave the city limits. Try as the city might to keep it out, it trickles in. You need more cowboy hats, boots and 70s rock. I shit you not. Also, where are your Asians? If you wanted to go super authentic, you would also have some Mormons. Seattle mormon teens are self righteous six days a week but manage to shake all that off and get totally fucking wasted and slutty on friday nights, not saturdays because then they couldn't take their ass to church the next morning.

Okay that is about it for now but I will be watching so if I have other thoughts, I will keep you posted.

I wish to read a book

I can't remember the last book I read because I just haven't had any time to read lately. I bought Diary by Chuck Palahniuk but I haven't had time to read it. Nor have I had time to read my book on the history of Stax records, which a friend got me for my birthday and I think about every day. Stax is so cool.

I never noticed it before but...

James Carville sounds exactly like Boomhauer from King of the Hill. It doesn't exactly speak to his credibility. Don't get the wrong idea, I really like James Carville.

Ankle Update

It is still really swollen but it hasn't gotten worse than last night, so I think that is a good sign. I think most people would probably just go to the doctor but I hate doctors. Plus I have only lived here for a year so I haven't really bothered to get one yet. Though I rejected the idea last night, I think I am going to have to borrow Cat's crutches. There is just no way that I am going to be able to get to my classes using the bum leg. I feel like a fucking loser.

I guess it was just a matter of time

So I got my first derby injury today. I fell and landed wrong on my ankle and actually heard it go "pop". I am hoping it is just a bad sprain but if it keeps swelling I guess I will go to the doctor tomorrow. As bad as it hurts, mostly I am just totally pissed off at myself for making such a stupid mistake. It already takes me like twice as long to learn everything as anyone else. If I have to spend a few weeks letting this heal, I will be so far behind. When I was getting off the rink I started to cry but really it had nothing to do with pain and everything to do with the prospect of lost derby time.

This is one of those rare times when I absolutely hate being alone. I can't really get around at all, it takes five minutes for me to get up the 13 stairs from my upstairs to downstairs. Everytime Monkey scratches on the door it takes me 10 minutes to let him outside. Then I am all paranoid that he is going to jump the fence and I can't run after him. It would just be nice if there was someone else to handle a few of these things. I guess I am just being a big baby and want someone to take care of me. The saddest part is that this just happened four hours ago. What will it be like tomorrow when I have to work and go to school?

I can't stop watching this dumb show

I have now watched the first episode of life as we know it that I tivoed three times. I am not even sure why I am so fascinated by the show, it isn't like I think it is a television masterpiece. There is just something oddly addictive about it. There are a couple things about it that I find so unsettling that I must watch them over and over. One is the fact that the nerdiest of the three guys looks a lot like Rob Lowe. Even though I don't really find Rob Lowe attractive, I can't help but think about the absurdity of a world where that guy would be a nerd. The second is when the dad does a strange barbecue chant (actually it is his whole BBQ obsession) - it is very off putting. The third is that sometimes Kelly Osborne is a pretty good actress and other times ridiculously bad. Other than that, the show is really pretty well written and has good music. I am still suggesting that everyone watch it so that it won't be cancelled and I can continue to feed my strange addiction.

If you were a guy in high school, which would be better?

Making out with some girl you went to school with or almost making out with the hot teacher?

Where have I been?

I know that is probably what the two people who read this and don't know me are asking. I will tell you...school, 80 hours of work a week and Derby just add up to way to much stuff to post to the blog too. Though lately I have been wishing I had a little more time for a little bloggy release. I am going to try to get on this new rigorous personal schedule and I think I can build in a few minutes a day for some posting.

I must not be the only one going through some sort of busy stage as Evan the comment guy (and friend of roller derby) hasn't updated his blog in quite sometime either. Which is unfortunate because I am really wondering what is going on with him and his new lady friend. It is nice that someone has been seeing some action. Even if it is a virtual stranger.

I am also wondering what is going on with my friends Dave and Ariel's house hunt. Though I suppose if I really wanted to know I could call them.

You Shook Me All Night Long

Derby has been kicking ass, we have almost enough girls to split into teams now and we hope to start bouting in February. The girls are great and the new ones that we have recruited recently are really different from our early group so it is making for a nice mix. I was worried prior that we would all get along so well that it would make it tough to be badass when it came time to bout. Though we are all still getting along the newer girls are different enough that it could make for some really quality personality conflicts.

I have also decided that when we bout each girl should have their own song that they skate in to. I haven't discussed this with anyone else but I think the idea will be well received. Mostly I just want to do this because I think it would be awesome to skate into AC/DCs You Shook Me All Night Long. It's mine, you can't have it.

You Shook Me All Nap Long

Speaking of action, as I was earlier, I have been taking a lot of naps recently. Derby seems to have not only cured my insomnia but is making me incredibly tired. Anyway, each time I nap I have these very weird sex dreams. Only when I nap. The dreams themselves are actually pretty normal, the sex isn't even really kinky or anything and doesn't even play that big a part in the dream, it is just really fun. What is weird is that they have all featured a guy that is a friend of mine. Now, I could spend all day sitting around deciding whether these dreams mean that I like him as more than a friend but it would be pointless to even momentarily entertain this train of thought as we will never be more than friends. So here is what I have decided it means:

I think it is my subconcious telling me to find a guy that I really like. Not in the way where I have done it before where I just like the same things that he likes or I think he looks hot in a pair of 501s and a vintage western shirt but in a way where its someone that I actually have fun with all the time. Then I lament the fact that I always have guy friends that I can have so much fun with but then when it comes to guys I have an opportunity to date, not so much (we could get into a whole thing about my guy friendships and whether or not they are unhealthy but we will leave that alone for now). I think this has come up lately because I have turned down a couple of opportunites to go out with guys that I just wasn't that thrilled with. In that past, I would have always said yes because well...to put it politely, I am not a hard sell. Although all of these dreams have contained sex, what is weird is that the real theme seems to be sex + someone you actually like = full time fun, it is a new concept for me. So I think that I am just holding out for something better. But then...

That is really in direct conflict with my standard dating philosophy. Which is that I am really only looking for someone that I can sleep with and see the occasional movie. Though in a way I think this is bullshit. I think the real thing is that:
A) The guys I date aren't so great that you would want to spend a lot of time with them
B) I really love my life (except for work) and my balance between friends, Derby, etc and I don't want that to change.

So I guess what this really adds up to is that I am a big chicken. I guess this is something I need to do some thinking about.

Today's cool things

I took my dogs to the park, as I do almost every sunday. On the way back I stopped to get them some food and bought them a new treat ball, they love it! It has provided Monkey with a great deal of diversion. Specifically diverting him from tearing up my vintage couch which he did last week. So I love the treat ball, even though it makes an annoying oinking noise. I love my dogs.

On the way back from the park I heard Light Crust Doughboy's "Let's Make Believe We're Sweethearts" (though the original may have been floyd tillman) on the radio, which is one of my all time favorite songs but I hadn't heard it about 10 years because I believed that it didn't exist in the real world, just in my ex's 78 collection. I heard it on 1190's incredible sunday morning country, blues and folk show, which is a must listen. Now that I know it is out there, I must find a copy of that song. I feel like it's sentiment could be the anthem of my life.

TV - I know I should hate you.

Try as I might to reject it, there are good new shows on TV this season that I am recommending as "must watch" so they don't get cancelled:

Lost - What is up with this show? It is very intriguing and well written, though it is a little hard to tell where it is going. So it could turn out to be a big pile of crap but for right now, thumbs up.

life as we know it - so the OC might be so ridiculous that it is funny but this new teen dramedy gives enough ridiculous to entertain but with a much more realistic sentiment. I think it could turn out to be one of my favorite shows. Plus it is set in Seattle and actually looks like Seattle (despite filming in vancouver), which makes me happy.

Okay, that is it for today, but it won't take me 2 months to write again.