PS

Where do you get off being all self righteous about how I am being taken care of and how my dad treats me? May I remind you that you are the trained chef that wouldn't even make me soup when I had a cold and the guy that watched me pawn my great grandmothers jewelry to pay rent, while you didn't even have to work. You suck, don't judge others.

Open Letter to the Jew with the Giant Cock

I thought when you hung up on me the other week that would be the end of you for a while. But yet, you have popped up again, calling, emailing pictures, IMing. Here is what I have to say:

1. Give it up.

2. We had sooooo many years to make it work. You getting older and balder isn't going to make you anymore desirable. PS - you don't want me anyway. You just want what you can't have.

3. You know I go for the bald thing. What is with sending the long hair pics from the 80s? It does nothing for me, even if you look like dreamboat Leif Garrett. PS - in 88 I was 12 - doesn't that gross you out at all?

4. Remember when you called me a baby elephant? I am still not over it. It is not my fault that your prior girlfriend was a model/actress type - may I also remind you that she was frigid?

5. I am unimpressed by your money (as badly as I may need some of my own), the fact that you don't have to hold a job just makes you seem immature.

6. Here is something I have never said before in all the times that I have talked to you and about you - I always felt like it was just a matter of time before you punched me in the face. The chair throwing and breaking shit over stupid things like yankees games was scary. You have no ability to control your temper.

7. I never once said "Get your cock away from my face" and the more that I think about it the more annoyed I am that you would attribute this to me. It must have been theresa.

8. We had such a great talk at the end of last year. I wish we could have just left it like that. I am going to try and rewind back to then and hopefully you will contact me no more.

Last Advice:
Marry the Mexican
Open a car restoration shop (no matter how gross you think "car guys" are)
Don't move to florida but get the hell out of LA
Find some way to get ahold of Adam again. You need your hetero life mate. I do feel bad that I "broke you guys up" so to speak.

A.

But in the first moment of her waking up...She knows she's losing it, yeah she's losing it....

Final thoughts for the evening:

I feel really fat and gross right now because I keep eating but yet can't move around. Plus I have an ugly zit, I blame surgery.

I couldn't do my english homework today because I was too drugged.

I have felt really unsettled today. I don't like it when I have feelings that I can't control. Obviously feelings, kind of by definition, can't be controlled but I am usually pretty good at keeping up my little shell. That has been more difficult lately and I am...well, confused. I am also thinking that I am always going to be a victim of bad timing. For once, I would like it to be right place, right time for me.

Scream 2 is pretty dumb.

As per usual, pain is making me really horny. Damn you insatiable sex drive.

Instead of going to sleep, I think what I am going to do now is attempt to take something like a shower. This will involve a chair, saran wrap, many towels and a midget. I feel too gross to sleep, something must be done. Not to get on too much of a tangent but one of my best friends here in denver will sometimes go a whole week without a shower. I can barely go 24 hours, everything gets so itchy.

Kidding about the midget.

Cuts like a Knife

Wow, I must be in a weird mood if I am busting out the Bryan Adams references. I am two days post ACL surgery and boy does it hurt. Imagine - hot poker in the side of the knee while it is being squished in a vice. Unpleasant. Plus I have to wear the bitch ass Immobilizer which is like the most annoying thing in the world. I feel like there could be a cartoon about the Immobilizer. Where it is generally good natured but is always doing to wrong thing and getting its ass kicked through no fault of its own.

I know I shouldn't hate the Immobilizer, it keeps my knee from buckling. Yet I do. Its a punk ass bitch. I feel bad for not immobilizer recycling though. It occurred to me later that I could have brought the one from my last surgery with me to reuse, but I didn't do that. Now I have two. Maybe when I have my return to rollerskating birthday party in august, I will burn them.

Fuck that, it is all about the Cabbage Patch

The Running Man is on right now, even though the movie is total shit I can't help but love both Richard Dawson and Jesse Ventura in it. The actors least likely.

Airbrush this!

Mike has been helping me out during my period of invalidcy. He bought me March's Playboy and I have been thoroughly enjoying it. I think I am going to get a subscription. From why you have to spend $20,000 on a stereo system to naked Debbie Gibson, it is a brilliant piece of literary work. Not yet convinced? Check out this joke:

A third-grade teacher asked one of her students to spell the work straight. The boy did so. Then the teacher asked "What is the definition of the word?"
The boy replied "Without Ice."

Oh my god, that witty Playboy slays me. Wait, what year is this? If you would like to get back to me on that, you will find me by the hifi sipping my martini.

Mike put the centerfold up on the door of the bathroom but then when I told him she was only 19, he promptly took it down. I think I had witnessed the moment in Mike's life where he discovered he was old enough that "barely legal" just seemed gross. I would argue that she is so airbrushed, she isn't really human anyway so why does it matter?

Protocol

Aside from Mike coming to wait on me hand and foot ("Can you turn on the stereo? Can you buy me ice cream?" I am being a baby, though it is so uncharacteristic of me that I think I am entitled), I am doing a self imposed social isolation. I don't like people to see me when I can't shower properly, which is to say, standing up. But suprisingly I am missing someone a lot more than I thought I would. So much so that I have had to fight off buying them a overly expensive gift that they recently mentioned a bunch of times in casual conversation. It would be against all sorts of protocol to purchase it so I am not going to do it. But sometimes I wish that there weren't any rules and we could always do what we feel like.

Evan, where are you?

Are you so "Out" that you are done? (out in quotes looks a lot gayer than I expected, please excuse any unintended suggestion)

Job - gone

After months of wondering, lamenting etc, I have found out that I am indeed going to lose my job. They will tell me to move to NY and when I say no, I will be terminated. I have been asked a couple of times why I don't just go to NY. Why would I move for a job that I hate more than life itself? Just to avoid financial ruin? That seems shallow. Seriously, I don't think it will be financial ruin but it will be hard. It's okay, I have had a good run and I am all about finding a job that I will like more. I am sure that will be much to my money "borrowing" (as in I never see it again) family's dismay.