A little update

The "failsafe" is making me wait until January. Like his life is so busy.

So it has come to this...

This may be a bit too personal but when it comes to my mostly anonymous blog, I really know no limits anyway. So here it goes:

I don't know what the deal has been but since my accident my sex drive has been through the roof. I am not sure if it is boredom or pain killers or what but it is actually getting to the point now where it is just fucking annoying. I am sure there will be sometime where I won't really want to have sex at all and I will be angry with myself for complaining about this. I read the headline on a salon article recently (I found the headline too depressing to read the actual article), that said the average american only has 12 minutes of orgasms a year. Since it didn't specify that these orgasms were with other people, I would have to say that in the last month I have not only contributed for me but a bunch of other people that have a proportionately low libido to my high one.

Seeing as I have pushed my vibrator to the limits (I swear one night I thought is was going to overheat and burn me. That would be an embarrassing story to relay to the doctor. It reminds me of this other time that I had acrylic nails and cut myself...story for another time), I was left with no choice but to invite the guy in my life that I romantically think of as "The Failsafe". Truth is, he is incredibly unreliable so in most cases he would be the opposite of a failsafe but when it comes to sex and I literally "double dog dare" him. He always comes through.

There was also the added bonus of the "fuck the cripple" novelty.

If given the choice, I wouldn't want it to be this way. But I don't get my choice so I have to come up with a different plan. For right now this is the best one I can think of. Can you say desperate?

Let's just give up on love

What I am envisioning here, although a little less beautiful, is also less complicated. Do you think I can just turn off the "heart" part of my brain? It's spent a large portion of it's life broken anyway so what if we just shut the mother down?

Speaking of Kharmically Fucked...

Last night I ate take away chinese food. As I opened up the fortune cookie (sealed for my protection), it popped out in three pieces and landed on the ground. I wasn't really interested in the cookie anyway so I bent down to get the part containing the fortune. When I was about six inches away, one of the dogs swooped in and ate it before I even had time to realize what was going on.

Upon relaying this story to my friend Dave this morning he said, "You have no fortune". I couldn't have said it better myself.