Enough with the god damn barbecue

So "life as we know it" episode two was not as good as episode one. It had its moments but I have had it up to my eyeballs with the BBQ subplot. In fact, it is not even gripping enough to be considered a subplot. Also, what exactly does this Dad do? Last week Dino picked him up at work and he was exiting a large glass building in a suit, this week Dino picked him up at a restaurant supply store in a strip mall, he was wearing chinos. Also the portrayal of Seattle was not as good as last week. So I would like to take this time to comment on that...

An open letter to the showrunners of "life as we know it"

Dear Sirs,

Overall I have enjoyed the first two episodes of your show and your portrayal of Seattle has been the best on tv so far. However I feel that there is still some room for improvement. To this end I have made some notes for you to consider:

1. Your houses are excellent. They look just like the houses that my friends grew up in. However, they are very expensive houses so the notion that these kids wouldn't have their own cars is absurd. Much like LA, nobody walks in Seattle and even the poor kids have cars. For example, my friend Denise Stevens lived in a house just like Jonathan's. The expansive windows afforded her a perfect view of the firemen hosing down her Volkswagen fastback after it has mysteriously burst into flames while she was in the shower. She, incidentally, was also obsessed with the Sponge and when it was discontinued, stockpiled and made special trips to BC, much like elaine on Seinfeld.

2. Why is there a british girl? Now I am not saying that a british girl couldn't be in a seattle high school but you have given us no explanation. The only british girl I knew in high school was named Penny and spent all of her time talking about dual citizenship and how she didn't believe in birth control. To quote: "If I get pregnant, just come at me with the Hoover" - Nice.

3. There are too many hot girls. Seattle can be an ugly town and while your fat jokes are cleverly written, fat girls usually always have boyfriends in seattle. It is the least concerned with fat or looks of any kind of any town I know. In fact, back in my day, the challenge was to be the shittiest looking girl you could be, that made you hot.

4. Please take them to Dick's. I know you film in BC but seattle isn't so far away that it would kill you to do a few exteriors there. All kids go to Dick's Drive In, it is a seattle institution and you can't have a show about Seattle teenagers without it. I am 28 years old and I still drag my ass there every time I am back home. Plus it seems like a few orders of Dick's Deluxe and fries would fit right in to the "all sex talk, no action" format of your show.

5. One more house thing. The houses around the school are not seattle (in fact, if I had to guess I would say Surrey), try not to show them. The school exterior is a bit off too as it appears to be stucco, which is all BC. Seattle is all about brick. I liked your choice of woodrow wilson as the name, there are so many president schools in seattle, it actually took me a minute to figure out that it wasn't a real school. Incidentally, people in seattle often say that Steve Miller is from there, he actually moved there in the late 70s but he went to woodrow wilson high school, in wisconsin.

6. You need a few more hicks and asians. Seattle goes from urban to rural in about 15 minutes once you leave the city limits. Try as the city might to keep it out, it trickles in. You need more cowboy hats, boots and 70s rock. I shit you not. Also, where are your Asians? If you wanted to go super authentic, you would also have some Mormons. Seattle mormon teens are self righteous six days a week but manage to shake all that off and get totally fucking wasted and slutty on friday nights, not saturdays because then they couldn't take their ass to church the next morning.

Okay that is about it for now but I will be watching so if I have other thoughts, I will keep you posted.