Leaving on a Jet Plane

I am off to Napa for the weekend for a family get together. I plan on spending the weekend drunk - that is how one makes it through a weekend with my family, so I won't be posting an update until Monday. I am sure I will have lots to say after spending a weekend among the spoiled and overprivileged. Or even worse, those who wish they were spoiled and overprivileged. When I get back I will put up some new songs too.

"A compliment for us is a compliment for you"

I have decided that all of today's headings will be quotes from Singles, as a tribute to Cameron Crowe's much maligned and underappreciated film. Even he thinks it's no good and is sorry that he made it. While I agree that it is no Say Anything or Almost Famous, I think it is excellent. Though it would have been nice if Mr. Crowe had a little more respect for Seattle, geographically. I wish he would embrace it because I would love to have a special edition with commentary, even if all the commentary was "Holy shit! How could I have made a movie this bad?" Aside from giving me a pictorial representation of my high school years, it has a great nostalgic quality. Like a Frankie and Annette beach movie. I think that twenty years from now it will be a cult favorite.

"I want to be new to you. I want to be Mr. New" or "In a parallel universe we are probably a scorching couple"

Ever since I saw Eternal Sunshine (see monday's post in the archives) I have been thinking about this concept of erasing people from your memory. I think it could really come in handy and not just for failed relationships. I think it would work best for misdirected relationships - like when you date someone but realize that you would be better just as friends. Really it isn't very often that you can go back and be friends because the dating is already out there and you can't take it back. What if you could erase the dating and just leave a note for yourself about the friends thing? How handy. Or what if the opposite was true? You are friends with someone but had you met them at a different time or in a different way, they would be totally datable. Often this concept is a line, something one person tells another to make them feel better because they have no interest in dating them but occasionally it is actually true. So you leave a note, buy a hot dress, erase them and go for it. Of course, there would have to be a mutual erasure agreement as it would not work for only one party to erase. Then you would just look like an ass.

Speaking of lines, when I was on Nerve the other day, their featured sidebar personal ad had a girl who's quote was "I am the type of girl that guys don't want to date because it will ruin the friendship". Honey, that is a line. I wish I could have contacted her and let her know that everyone who told her that really just wasn't interested and putting it up on her personal just makes her look like a fool. Also why would you want to give people reasons not to date you? Isn't that the opposite of what you should be doing?

"I think that A. You have an act and B. Not having an act is your act"

Sometimes I don't like confrontation so instead of coming right out and saying what I want to say, I make a thousand little leading comments to point the person in the right direction. So I can illicit the correct response without having to say things that may be embarrassing or difficult for me. Like I want the other person to handle all the real icky details. I don't really know where I picked up this habit but not only is it unfair to person B in the conversation but it is mentally exhausting for me. Lately I have been working on just saying exactly what I mean and dealing with the consequences. So far it is working pretty well, I feel more relaxed. I am not ready to tackle everything that I can't say but I think most people have things that are left unsaid so that is normal.

"Somewhere around 25 bizarre becomes immature" or "You're a Realist slash Dreamer"

I find that as I get older, I am better able to focus my creative impulses into something really fun and good. When I was younger I would do a million crazy things but I was so scattered about it that I was constantly abandoning projects or just doing things half ass. Although I may do a lot less quirky stuff now, I feel like when I do it is a lot more fun and has a better outcome. The current exception being the half of an album the my semi-fake band The Prom from Detroit should be recording. It is discouraging for me when things don't sound the way I want them to sound, so I have kind of given up. I don't like being a quitter. I need to work on learning to play my guitar better, that will probably help things a bit.

One thing I really miss about San Francisco is that there were so many opportunities to make your own fun. While one would think that if you are making your own fun, you could do it anywhere, the truth is there just aren't as many outlets for fun making in Denver.

"Expect the Best"

Why is it that on Alias, where every gadget is the height of technology, they don't have cell phones with cameras? Every time they find a bomb they have to disable, they have to describe it to Marshall over the radio. Hello! If you had the $49.99 phone from T mobile, you could just send him a picture. I can't even count the number of times that a cell phone with a camera would have come in handy for Sydney. Maybe this oversight is supposed to be where fact meets fiction - it totally seems like something the real government would do. JJ Abrams, there are limits to which I can suspend my disbelief.

Yummy!

Okay, I just received a product in the mail that is so fucking fabulous that I had to post another entry just to tell everyone about it....

the deliciously kissable whipped body cream (flavor - Juicy, bursting with sun ripened strawberries and raspberries) by Dessert, the new cosmetics line that Jessica Simpson is part owner of. It is a foaming edible (that's right edible) body cream. Now most people who know me will probably think that I bought this because of my long standing obsession with Newlyweds. In truth, I just always like the idea of stuff you can put on your body that can be licked off. So here is what i have to say about it - First, it tastes great! Way better than any sort of novelty product that you can buy at a sex shop. However, it doesn't really smell that good, it doesn't really smell bad either. It kind of just smells like glue, but a very sweet glue. I would say that the biggest drawback is until it dries it is a bit tacky but I wouldn't go so far as to say sticky. Also, it seems that my lips tingle a little so maybe I am having some sort of allergic reaction. If I am, whatever, no pain no gain. It also comes with candy sprinkles for decoration but I haven't really tried those out yet. They appear to be just regular candy sprinkles.

Here is what the product says about itself:
8 fluffy, yummy ounces
Sold as a novelty only. This is not a food item
Rich and creamy, super-whipped and full of things your skin loves this delicious body smoother tastes as good as it smells - fresh and juicy sweet.

Again I would say it tastes better than it smells but as I am writing this I am kind of coming around on the smell. Dessert products can only be found at Sephora so if you are in Denver, you will have to order it online. If you are somewhere else that has a Sephora - well, that must be nice for you, feel my envy.

So if you see me out tonight, my skin will taste lickably good. Please feel free to ask me about a taste test.

Colin Farrell and Mark Ruffalo

I was recently asked if I found either of these men attractive. At the time I said that Colin Farrell, while I don't actually find him attractive, has this kind of sexy Irish asshole quality about him. So I responded that he was the type of guy that I would like to spend about an hour and either 15 or 45 minutes (I can't remember which I said) with in a bathroom or alley. Mark Ruffalo (who I actually know almost nothing about, I have seen two movies featuring him and I like the fact that his name rhymes with Buffalo, that's about it) was kind of attractive and he was the type of guy that I would like to spend a night with in the Niagara falls honeymoon suite from Superman II....

After careful additional consideration, I have rethought my original positions and formed a new response:

Colin Farrell: An hour and 15 (or 45) minutes! What was I thinking? This Colin Farrell guy is just not the type of guy that I could see myself making out with so that really cuts out any need for foreplay of any kind however, talking dirty in his Irish accent would be acceptable so my new response is: 20 minutes in a bar bathroom.

Mark Ruffalo: I can't quite put my finger on it but something about this guy tells me that I would find him very annoying after a few hours. Like maybe he lacks self confidence and needs to have continual validation regarding his place in Hollywood as an up and coming People's 50 Most Beautiful. This would annoy me to no end so my new response is: 2 hours in a car at the drive in, allowing a portion of the two hours set aside for some actual movie viewing and drinking a soda pop.

On a side note I heard that Lindsay Lohan tried to give Colin Farrell her phone number, when he realized that she was only 17 (he is 27 or 28) he said "maybe you can call me in a year or two" - classy.

Hair & Scents

My hair looks totally great today. I was out at a bar last night so it is a little smoky smelling but i have decided not to wash it today so that I can maintain the current fabulousness. Hopefully the smoke smell will dissipate by the time I head out tonight for yet another smoky bar.

I recently purchased two types of scents from this company that makes perfumes that smell like every day things. The two I bought are Laundromat and Sugar Cookie, because I think these are things that I would like to smell like. However, they also offer Wet Garden, Tomato and Dirt among others - Dirt? Would someone actually say "Wow I want to smell like dirt?" I have to believe if it sells at all, it is purely for novelty reasons. I have spent a lot of time (and money) searching for my signature scent. I still haven't found it yet.

Sexier Jeans

I have recently bought a new pair of jeans based on the tv advice of BBCAmerica's What Not to Wear with Trinny and Susannah. These chicks totally know what they are talking about when it comes to clothes (unlike their TLC American counterparts). They always recommend that the shorter girls (like myself) wear really low waisted jeans. Well the only pair of low waisted jeans I had were two sizes too big so I decided to buy some new ones. After searching countless old navys for my size (apparently the most popular size at old navy is the 14 short - it is because they make their pant legs too long and even tall people have to buy the short ones), I finally found a pair and they are indeed sexier. However, after wearing them for a few days I have discovered that I probably should have bought a 12 because they keep slipping off my ass a little bit. I think they look good a little baggy though. Trinny and Susannah also recommend that since I have the flabbier upper arm I should not wear short sleeves but I should wear low cut shirts as it will make my boobs look smaller. Well maybe that isn't a problem combination in England but in America, that is a pretty tall order. I have discovered that it is nearly impossible to find a long sleeve low cut shirt. Especially once you move out of the winter clothes season which, thanks to stores like the Gap and Old Navy, now only lasts for about 15 days at the end of September. So I continue to struggle with that fashion combination.

Cracked House

I am loosely considering buying a house. I say loosely because I don't want to spend a lot of money, have a lot of criteria that need to be met and mostly because the whole concept of buying a house is a little more adult than I consider myself to be. I so think of myself as a kid still that every time I am served a drink in a bar, I feel like I am getting away with something. It is a pretty grown up thing, I might not be able to handle it. Anyway, I saw this house today that was the most unbelievable thing. On paper it was great, right neighborhood, victorian, 2 bathrooms, yard, blah, blah, blah. The actual house was a completely different thing. Floors - there were none, the ad said "Hardwood floors" what they really meant was "all the floors have been ripped up and there happened to be wood underneath". Walls and Windows - well, they weren't all there and what was there had some very lovely and creative tags. Anyway I could go on, but I won't. My theory is that it was either some sort of squat or a meth lab. Other than the possible toxicity of a meth lab house, it would be pretty novel. Needless to say, I won't be purchasing the house. But if someone wanted to put about $30,000 in to it, it could be really nice. The Cadillac of meth labs.

Headache

I have had the same headache for like 24 hours. I tried to drink it away last night - not surprisingly it didn't work. I have taken countless pills. When will it go away?

Pajama Party

Two weeks ago I was in a bar telling a friend of mine that I wanted to have a pajama party. Not only do I love the movie Pajama Party with Frankie and Annette but I think that the pajama party should make a come back. What could be more fun than seeing friends and strangers in their pajamas? Assuming they are attractive pajamas of course, one friend that I told said that he wears sweatpants sans underwear - I told him not to come to my pajama party in that. Commando is fine but sweatpants are so offensive. Okay, I am deviating a little from the subject at hand - the point of my story is that I just saw a commercial for the four o'clock news and the guy said "Pajama parties - they're making a comeback and they're not for kids" THAT WAS MY IDEA!!! I think someone overheard me in the bar.

The Blog is Back

People, what's up? I have revamped the denver vs. nyc blog. I have taken it off the shelf, polished it up and given it a new name. I need a time killer while I work from home and I guess this is going to be it, which will probably bring a great deal of relief to my friend Mike, who I email constantly as my current time killer. If you look to your right you will notice a new songs section, mp3s for you to enjoy. I am going to try and put up new songs every week or so. Also, the archive section doesn't seem to be linked quite right so those old April/May posts aren't available right now, though you aren't missing much. So I guess, on to the blogging:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

So I caught this movie last night and even though I fell asleep for a few minutes, that shouldn't be taken as some sort of reflection on the movie. It was pretty amazing. So amazing that I forgot that I was watching Jim Carrey, who I am so not a fan of. Anyway, I spent the entire night staring at my ceiling (apparently the 15 minutes of sleep I got during the movie was all I needed) thinking about relationships, both good and bad, and how things rarely work out the way you think they will. I also think that Kate Winslet looks really good with bright red hair.

This led me to another thought (very indirectly of course because my mind works in weird ways at 3am). Now this maybe a little personal but since very few people ever read these things, I can pretty much just say what I want. I spent about an hour last night contemplating my feelings on giving head. Firstly, I wondered this - why are there a million euphemisms for masturbation (choking the chicken, polishing the rocket, I could go on but you know them - here is a good one though - manipulating the mango) but not really any for giving head. There are, of course alternate phrasings but not really any cute little euphemisms. Secondly, I thought about how it is, for me, the most conflicted of sex acts. It is one of those things that I either really want to do, or not at all and when I say not at all, I mean not at all. So it can be both my favorite and least favorite. I think it is the only thing about sex that I have a love/hate relationship with - well except some of the people that I have had sex with, of course.

Prior to the movie, I was at this bar where the bartender and some other girl were talking about a book that they had both read called "Chosen Prey". I think the title says quite enough about the potential quality (or lack of) of the book but if that isn't enough to not recommend it, allow me to recap the conversation between the two girls:

Girl 1: "It was so bad"
Girl 2: "But it was hilarious"
Girl 1: "But it was so bad"
Girl 2: "But it was hilarious"
Girl 1: "Totally"

Hmmm, actually maybe that does recommend it.

Lindsay Lohan vs. Hilary Duff

I think this may be the greatest hollywood feud of all time. To bring you up to speed I am going to post all the details below (as lifted from Salon) I will keep you posted on further updates as they happen:

Before 2003: The two vie for parts at Disney. Lohan gets "The Parent Trap" in 1998. Duff lands the lead in "Lizzie McGuire," the hit TV show in 2001 -- and the movie by the same name in 2003. Then Lohan gets 2003's "Freaky Friday." Duff leaves Disney that same year.

April 2003: Lohan dates Aaron Carter -- brother of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter -- who starts two-timing her with Duff. Lohan finds out and, reportedly, is less than pleased.

"Lindsay wouldn't let me break up with her," Carter tells the Miami Herald. "The girls always take it so seriously, like we are getting married. I'm just playing."

"I didn't mean any harm if I dated him at the same time," Duff later says.

Aug. 4, 2003: At the premiere of Lohan's breakout film, "Freaky Friday," Duff, then 15, shows up with Chad Michael Murray, then 21, who played Lohan's boyfriend in the movie. Murray and Duff hold hands throughout the evening. "Maybe they're dating," Lohan says to People Magazine. "She's 15; he's 21. Best of luck to 'em: Demi and Ashton!"

The New York Daily News reports that following the premiere, the two are "frosty" toward each other at a Teen People party. Lohan also "barges into the spotlight" during an "Entertainment Tonight" interview with Duff.

Soon after, Duff claims she has given up dating to "focus on my career."

Dec. 14, 2003: At the premiere party for Duff's film "Cheaper by the Dozen," Duff spots Lohan and her entourage. Duff complains to her mother and her bodyguard, who try to physically remove Lohan from the premises.

"It was pretty amazing," a source tells the New York Post. "Here is this huge man trying to manhandle a 100-pound girl."

Lohan refuses to go, saying, "I am not leaving. I was invited. Why should I leave?"

Duff and Mom gripe to Fox executives, who reply that Lohan was invited, adding that if Duff doesn't like it, she's welcome to leave. She promptly does.

Lohan later has this to say about Duff: "I think I've met her, maybe, twice. It's like every single time I see her, she starts talking bad about me."

Susan Duff, Hilary's mother, later says she thought Lohan had egged her Range Rover a few weeks earlier. Lohan's people deny the egging.

Feb. 16, 2004: On MTV's "Total Request Live," while promoting "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," Lohan is asked to "confess one thing about yourself right now."

Her reply: "I love you, Hilary Duff."

Feb. 17, 2004: In an interview with Lohan on "Good Morning America," Diane Sawyer broaches the topic of "the feud." Despite having blatantly used the publicity from the tiff to promote her movie, Lohan says she just wants to "let it go."

"I have no problems with anyone. And it's not necessary to go out of your way to try and take somebody down. I mean, she's doing great. And I'm, I'm a fan of hers. I mean, my sister loves her ... It's just unnecessary ... We were friends. It's silly ... It's kind of the reason why I wanted to finish high school early, because it's what you have to deal with in high school ... and it's just, come on. Let it go. You know what I mean? So I just wanted to clear it up."

Sawyer adds, "OK. So, we're gonna work on peace in the Middle East next because we feel we've really accomplished something here."

Feb. 19, 2004: For her New York Post column, gossip Cindy Adams asks Lohan about the feud. Lohan: "Ohhh, everyone makes more of this than there really is. It's that she doesn't like me or she must be jealous or something."

...Wow - those kids seem fun. I know it seems like a totally ridiculous thing to follow, and it is. I am by no means defending it but I have a lot of time on my hands and I really enjoyed the parent trap remake, eventhough there was no singing (Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah). However, that Lizzie McGuire Movie was like the biggest piece of crap I have ever seen. So I say "Kick her ass, Lindsay!" I want to add that I have also "Given up dating to focus on my career", that said, I am free Tuesday - Thursday nights this week, so if you want to go out and do something...

As I write this my dog superStar is snoring and it is so cute. He sounds like a little old man. Okay that is about it for today - go see Eternal Sunshine.