Open Letter to the Jew with the Giant Cock

I thought when you hung up on me the other week that would be the end of you for a while. But yet, you have popped up again, calling, emailing pictures, IMing. Here is what I have to say:

1. Give it up.

2. We had sooooo many years to make it work. You getting older and balder isn't going to make you anymore desirable. PS - you don't want me anyway. You just want what you can't have.

3. You know I go for the bald thing. What is with sending the long hair pics from the 80s? It does nothing for me, even if you look like dreamboat Leif Garrett. PS - in 88 I was 12 - doesn't that gross you out at all?

4. Remember when you called me a baby elephant? I am still not over it. It is not my fault that your prior girlfriend was a model/actress type - may I also remind you that she was frigid?

5. I am unimpressed by your money (as badly as I may need some of my own), the fact that you don't have to hold a job just makes you seem immature.

6. Here is something I have never said before in all the times that I have talked to you and about you - I always felt like it was just a matter of time before you punched me in the face. The chair throwing and breaking shit over stupid things like yankees games was scary. You have no ability to control your temper.

7. I never once said "Get your cock away from my face" and the more that I think about it the more annoyed I am that you would attribute this to me. It must have been theresa.

8. We had such a great talk at the end of last year. I wish we could have just left it like that. I am going to try and rewind back to then and hopefully you will contact me no more.

Last Advice:
Marry the Mexican
Open a car restoration shop (no matter how gross you think "car guys" are)
Don't move to florida but get the hell out of LA
Find some way to get ahold of Adam again. You need your hetero life mate. I do feel bad that I "broke you guys up" so to speak.

A.