Speaking of Kharmically Fucked...

Last night I ate take away chinese food. As I opened up the fortune cookie (sealed for my protection), it popped out in three pieces and landed on the ground. I wasn't really interested in the cookie anyway so I bent down to get the part containing the fortune. When I was about six inches away, one of the dogs swooped in and ate it before I even had time to realize what was going on.

Upon relaying this story to my friend Dave this morning he said, "You have no fortune". I couldn't have said it better myself.