I had sex with Elvis!

Ok, I only had a dream that I had sex with Elvis but it is pretty much the only good thing that has happened to me in weeks, so I am going with it. As with most dreams, there were a lot of things that made him not so Elvis like, it was really more in name only. He was more of an amalgam of past boys I have known (some "known" in a more biblical sense, some not). Oddly though, they were all boys that I haven't thought about in a long while. It was like all the boys from 10 years ago got together to create one perfect man - Elvis. Though lately, even my dreams aren't perfect, as eventually Elvis just disappeared while I was getting dressed so we could go out.

Two odd bits of reality slipped into the dream that are worth noting:

1) I was trying on dresses that I actually own (though they looked a lot better on my skinny dream self)
2) We had sex in what I determined a few days ago is the only position I could have sex in with these leg braces, although I was not wearing the braces in my dream.

Another thing worth noting in my dream is that I seemed to be a really bad kisser. Now, it wasn't like Elvis said "you are a really bad kisser" because if Elvis put me down like that, even in my dreams, I would be suicidally upset. It was more just something that I felt in the dream. For lack of a better explanation, it was the sort of making out that one does when they are really drunk or tired and are merely doing it out of some sort of obligation. The kind of kissing where, if given the choice, you would rather be sleeping or throwing up.

Though I want to be clear, I would not slight Elvis like that in real life. I am sure had it been a real elvis, I would have pulled out all the make out stops. Though I have a sneaking suspicion that the real Elvis probably wasn't a very good kisser. I bet he had a "I am Elvis so I don't have to do anything" attitude. When I was in high school, there was this band in Seattle called "Best Kissers in the World", I always felt like they were setting themselves up a bit. That is a big statement to live up to.

Cough due to Cold

My friend Charlie visited me on Thursday and he seemed to be sick with something. I told him that if he got me sick, my crippled self would kill him. Well I think he has and now he is in Portland, where my crippled self will not be able to go for quite some time. Luckily, Percoset seems to be a nice cold cure all so it is not too much of a bother.