Depression is the new Atkins

So I have lost 14 pounds since my little accident, slightly over a pound a day. I am assuming that some of this is water and I am sure my skating muscles are rapidly fading but it is exciting none the less. My clothes definitely fit differently so some of it has to be legit. This inexplicable rapid weight loss is the only good thing in my life so I am actually very thankful for it.

I went up to practice last night for a bit to see everyone. It was a little worrysome how low the turnout was - it seems like when a few key people aren't there everything seems to fall apart. Mostly it was just really sad. It finally really hit me that I won't be skating for a year. As fly ridden, nasty and smelly as the rink is, I have already started to miss it terribly.

I tried to shake off the saddness with vodka tonics but it didn't really work. So I spent a few hours last night lying in bed crying like a big baby. Really there are only three things I want right now, one I can't have at all, so it is no use dwelling on it anymore (at least not publicly), the second is my dogs and I am only capable of handling one of them and the third is to skate, which I won't be doing for a very long time.

When will this bad luck streak end?

I was told last night that I should play powerball because I am in a prime position to win. Then that person retracted and told me if I played I would probably just win enough so that it put me in a new tax bracket and I would come out with less money than I started with. That seems about right.

superStar

It has been really nice to hang out with just superStar again. I love Monkey a lot but he is definitely a handful. superStar is just so peaceful and calm, grateful for even the smallest amount of attention. Though all I really do all day is pay attention to him. I have recently realized how similar we are - Happy for attention but the first to retreat into a corner in a crowd, weary of strangers, desperate to love and be loved, light sleepers, patient in our daily lives but impatient when presented with something exciting or different. It is amazing that based on almost no time or selection criteria, I could end up with a dog just like me. It is strange how the world works.

It is also why I love Monkey so much, as he is the exact opposite of all of that, it keeps things interesting. I realized last night that he is the canine embodyment of Lennie in Of Mice and Men - big, dumb, unaware of his own strength or the trouble he can cause but sweet, well meaning and without a mean bone in his body.

A Shed came to visit

Yesterday a truck pulled up and parked alongside my house towing a shed. The shed was not new but perfectly servicable and of a good size. I don't know if it was the painkillers or that I was desperate for company but somehow I convinced myself that this shed was for me. I thought 'why would someone send me a shed'? Then I started making plans for where it would go and what I would do with it. Just as I was settling into the idea of having a shed in my life, a truck door slammed and the shed left as quickly as it had come.