I keep doing things backwards

What kind of retard am I? I have been having this weird backwards day. Here are some examples:
I called my voice mail without even checking for the voice mail beeps
I pushed control-Alt-delete to log on to my computer before I had even turned it on.
I got ready to scrape the paint from the dresser drawers that I am refinishing before I applied the stripper.

Like I said - retard. Or maybe I am just distracted by something, though what, I am not sure. The control-alt-delete was really the dumbest. I know there are a few of you who are reading this and are shocked to discover that I don't have a Mac. To you I say - I live in the real world, my computer is not a toy.

I have started writing a book

A real one, not a 30 day one. But that is all I want to say about that.

Denver Derby Dolls

I wish to start a girls roller derby league in Denver. It will kick ass. Who's with me?