A bit more on the "failsafe"

In his defense: He doesn't live in this state so it is a bit of work for him to get here.

So typical of him: He wants to tie his trip out here to the tail end of his vegas trip to the Adult Film Convention. Since he will be on the road anyway.

Why he probably won't show: I pointed out that when he wanted to come out is 4 days post my first surgery. Although there would definitely be sex regardless of how much pain I am in, he would also have to help me out. This is not his strong suit (understatement of the century), I have not heard from him since.

I will elaborate on this "understatement of the century" because it is kind of fascinating. The FS doesn't touch people other than to have sex with them, he doesn't make out and is virtually incapable of emotional connections.

I used to worry that he was just this way with me because he didn't like me that much. Part of that maybe true because I know he has forced himself to get over this with other girls (or really just one that I know of) because he probably really loved them. The bottom line is that I just don't really care. Although I will always have a little soft spot in my heart for him (mostly because he is the most beautiful man that has ever wanted to have anything to do with me physically but also because of his great taste and humor), he is nothing that I want in a guy. It took me a long time to figure that out but I finally have.

Suffice it to say, not a good care taker. Which is tragic because he is an awesome cook and I would kill for some of his escarole soup.

Not so confidential to Evan

I maybe wrong but is seems that we are going through similar "we've got to figure some shit out" phases. The difference is that you are trying to do it by putting yourself out there and I am trying to do it within the confines of the four walls of my bedroom (and no, I am not talking about finding my G-Spot). I think we will get there, one way or another. You are probably going about it a better way though...with the being out in the world and whatnot.

Isn't it Ironic?

So this time I actually got my fortune from the cookie. It read:

"Now is the time to go ahead and pursue that love interest"

Great, really fucking helpful, thanks. Though I had spent all day just thinking about "putting it out there", if you will. Since I know what the outcome will be and I am too big a chicken for that, it will just stay on the inside.

Business As Usual

Now that all my houseguests are gone I am once again reunited with my most faithful friend - Buzzy, the five star general in my sex toy army. I think if he could speak English (not that he can speak any language but I imagine if he could speak it would be in his native Japanese) he would say that he was glad for the vacation, but that it is good to be back to work. Indeed. Or maybe he would just say "This chick is a fucking slave driver".