Hello 2005!

For many months now, I have been pondering the ins and outs of relationships and romance. Some of it I have done publicly on the blog, most was just in my head during the countless hours I have been stuck in bed. Just as the year was coming to a close, I finally found the answers I needed and came to some conclusions of my own. So people of the internet, here they are:

1. Being in love is completely indefinable.
Someone once told me that you love someone because of how they make you feel about yourself, not how you feel about them. While I think this is totally true, what is weird is that there is no way to quantify this. There is nothing that anyone can do to make someone love them more or less, people just feel how they feel.

2. There is not just one person for everyone, there are several.
Some you will love more than others but there will be many people that you "click" with over the course of your life. The trick is figuring out when to stop and settle down.

3. Sometimes the love of your life won't have anything to do with romance.
I am kind of ripping off Dawson's Creek here but sometimes your "soulmate", if you will, the person that understands you above all others may not be the person you are "in love" with. There are all different kinds of relationships in this world. Although the person you choose to love for the rest of your life should be the most important, that doesn't mean that you can't have other "deep and meaningful" relationships in your life.

4. Love is a numbers game.
This one I really hate to admit because I argued the opposite for so long. My friend Chris used to always say that "finding the right person was just about meeting the right number of people to get to that person". I would argue that "no, absolutely not. you are just as likely to meet the love of your life on the first try as the hundredth". Sadly I have realized that this is absolutely not true. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to click with someone. It is just that simple. I told my sister early today that it is probably 1 in 20 people, though if you go by the Bachelor/Bachelorette, they seem to think that it only takes 12.

So that is about it and frankly, I feel a lot better. I could tell you about what I have found out specifically about myself, like I am very "sex oriented" (direct quote from an ex) but it really isn't that important. I am far more interested in these bigger universal truths about love.

So despite the bad knees, shitty job and other assorted dramas, this list is what 2004 was about for me. It was my one great accomplishment this year.

Bring on the next one.