2005 just feels different

The last week of 2004 was huge for me. Between candid conversations with friends, ex-boyfriends, therapists and assorted boy dramas, I feel like I went through a pretty radical change at the end of the year. It would be hard to explain exactly other than it feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest.

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy and I have decided to that for 2005 my only mission will be to be aware of my self destructive impulses and fight them. I am going to stop projecting past situations on to current ones. I am going to stop worrying about what could happen and just appreciate what I have. Mostly, I am going to act happy on the outside, no matter how I feel on the inside and hopefully it will just seep inward when I am down.

Here is another thing that I am going to do: take my own advice. I am the master of giving out advice. I am so good at it that it's crazy. But when it comes to myself I just can't see things as clearly, or at least I hadn't been able to until recently. Through conversations with friends and my sister, I realize that sometimes I should just listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth and apply them to myself.