Mike,

Why don't you like Chuck Klosterman? It makes me so mad!!!! There I am, enjoying my new book and I think "Mike would totally love this book. I should loan it to him when I am done." Except, you won't love the book. I find this very frustrating because everything suggests that you should like it. You say that you don't like his writing style. Huh? He writes just like everyone else we read and about music, none the less. He is certainly a better writer than that Michael Azerrad, yet you seem to have no complaints about him. It is like saying you like Tastee Freeze but not Dairy Queen - come on.

I think there is something else going on here. Was it the Billy Joel essay? Are you that much of a Billy Joel hater that you will hold it against this writer for the rest of his life? I think you might be. Or perhaps it is because he freely admits that he would fuck pamela anderson. I think we need to get to the bottom of this hatred because it is severely impacting your literary options. Who are you going to write off next? Sarah Vowell because she enjoys Buffy the Vampire Slayer a little too much? No, you find her nasally five year old voice too sexy to write her off. Which brings me to my next point...

What does your girlfriend think of all this Chuck Klosterman hating? Is she somehow responsible for this? Unless she is a Chuck Klosterman hater herself (which would explain all of this ridiculousness), I can't see how she would feel good about you being so closed off to an obviously awesome writer. Isn't your awesome literary taste one of the charms in this relationship? Write off a few more like you did Chuck and you may find yourself in some hot water, my friend.

I want answers! Now! Your misplaced hatred of Chuck Klosterman is severely offending my sensibilities.

Give it up for Chuck! He is the fucking greatest!

Greatest contemporary rock writer with woman trouble, that is.

Best Regards, Amanda