Sarah Vowell, You Make Me So Angry

1. You are going to every city but Denver on your book tour. You can drag your ass to Madison and Boise but not Denver. Did you just decide to bypass the second tier and go straight to the third tier cities? Where's the logic in that?

2. According to Amazon, your new book is not available for pickup at my local Borders. Yes, I realize Borders is ass but I am broke and have a gift card. No, I can not drive to another Borders, I am conserving gas.

3. Men find your squeaky voice endearing and, dare I say it, sexy. I completely lack any sort of talent for turning a physical drawback into an attribute. Not only am I angry but I am jealous of you. Even Conan O'Brien is your bitch.