Bored Beyond Belief

Have you noticed that I rarely write anything here anymore? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I no longer work at home (maybe it has everything to do with that). Well today I am going to lay it all out for you as I have nothing better to do. Normally I would be emailing back and forth with Daniel about some nonsense. As he has no internet today, instead I am sitting at work with nothing to do but apply for other jobs and think about how I desperately want a haircut (and color) and some new jeans that don't fall off my ass.

Diabetes Upside: When your blood sugar is out of control, your body can't process the food you eat so it burns up your fat reserves. Basically it is like starving but you can eat all day. I now weigh less than I have since I lived with Adam - shit that was a long time ago. How did I get so fat? Especially with a guy who weighs (or maybe weighed, who can say now?) 125 pounds.

Diabetes Downside: I don't have any money for new jeans that don't fall off my ass.

Actually, I don't have money for anything, even the parking lot I park at every day because I can't get my act in gear early enough to take the bus. I am living in serious denial about my financial situation - it is going to have to stop.

For the last couple of days I have been a really crabby baby. I think the reality of the diabetes thing has really set in and it is messing with my head in a big way. It was one of those weekends where all of my pet peeves were just sending me right over the edge. Normally, no matter how much something bothers me, I can overlook it in the people I love. This weekend wasn't one of those times. Tables manners, bad grammar, telling me how to solve my problems, kickball religious chants, too many clothing layers (yes, I realize it was very cold out) - it was all making me fucking crazy.

I am pretty much over all of it now as even in the midst of my annoyance, I am pretty good at stepping back and seeing how unreasonable I am being. Though I will say these two things - 1. Why do people think that having good table manners is about how they should or shouldn't be acting? Like it is pretentious or something. Why don't people realize that good table manners are about other people not having to look at the bad table manners. Enough said - it really isn't that big a deal. 2. Here's a little secret (secret no more) I hate food noises - like the noises people make when they eat. It isn't specific to anyone or a particular eating style - I hate even the quietest swallow. Normally I can just deal but when I am crabby - it is like fingernails on a blackboard.

Now you see it - Now you don't. This post was twice as long before but I reread it and decided that it was too crabby and paranoid. I don't want to be one of those blogger types.